Okay, I admit it: I’m a bit vain. I’ve never felt that I was in the drop-dead-gorgeous category, so I learned early on to work like
heck with what I’ve got. It helped that I was an actress for many years, learning how to walk and speak with life and confidence, learning about make-up and how to “take the stage.” Later on, I became a devotee of What Not to Wear, learning to be conscious of my personal style and the difference between what’s age-appropriate and what’s clearly Trying too Hard. I’ve also simply gotten more confident in my own skin (even as gravity has its way with me) and in my own choices.
Like hair. Back in the day, women over 40 were told long hair was no longer appropriate. Give it up and cut it off. No one is fooled.
I almost gave in to this thinking. In fact, I cut my hair supershort (remember Annette Bening in The American President?) when I turned 40. For a while, I liked it. I suddenly got more commercial and corporate acting work. But it wasn’t me. I felt desexed. Some women have that gamine look that is served well by short hair. I don’t. So I grew it out and was much relieved. Except for one phase when I went medium-short for awhile, I’ve had it long ever since. It’s in current, choppy layers that fall around my cheekbones and hide the southward migration of my neck. Or I can pull it back, put it up, let it go curly, which is also me (I’m the kind of person who has to move the furniture around a couple times a year when I get bored).
I love seeing other women my age with beautiful long hair. Not Rapunzel length, or overprocessed, but modern, sleek, well cut. With or without natural gray. It’s confident and sexy without being overt.
And face it: Men love it. I get far more street attention than I ever did with it shorter. My boyfriend loves it. And though I’m a product of the feminist generation who came of age in the 1970s, I cannot tell a lie: I love male attention. So sue me.
And I do mean hot. As in hot flash, night sweats (and, okay, I still think I’ve got sump’n goin’ on!). Those furnace fluctuations are probably the most universal symptom of menopause. I know for some women it can be downright unbearable, but I seem to have been spared the worst. It might be hereditary (my older sister says her hot flashes weren’t too bad). But I also decided from the time my doctor, to my utter dismay, first told me I was well into perimenopause (she actually snorted when I asked about birth control) that I was going to use every healthy means at my disposal to ease the way. My FSH levels now show the egg factory is in the final going-out-of-business phase.